Jalila Bell wrote a beautifully emotional essay where a special performance brings the history of her people and the spirits of her ancestors to the present day.
We
Fin Gwine up de Jacobs Ladder
By
Jalila A. Bell, Esq.
On
June 21, 2006, I had the privilege, honor and distinction of
participating and performing in the Opening Day Concert and
ceremonies for the 74th Annual Jacobs Pillow Dance
Festival with my wonderful colleagues of the Vissi Dance Theater. As
a dancer, an artist, a woman of color, an attorney, and a descendant
of slaves, I was truly honored to walk the hallowed ground of the
Pillow and to Dance on freedoms land.
Jacobs
Pillow has been a leader in dance presentation and education since
its founding in 1933 by dance pioneer Ted Shawn. But Jacobs Pillow
is more than a sacred place for modern dance, an ode to modern dance
pioneers; it is also a historical landmark, a stop on the Underground
Railroad. It is therefore fitting that Vissi Dance Theater would
perform the three excerpts chosen; Run
Thunder Run,
an except from The
Hoarde
(2005), The
Runaways,
an excerpt from Amazing
Grace
(2004), and lastly Juneteenth,
also an excerpt from Amazing
Grace
(2005). All three of these pieces deal dramatically with the themes
of slavery, fear, oppression, transcendence and freedom. Each of the
three in their own right is a technical masterpiece worthy of merit.
Performing
these pieces in this venue was overwhelming for me, both physically
and emotionally. For most of the bumpy- curvy three- hour ride home,
I huddled in my seat of the caravan, sobbing uncontrollably. As a
dancer, I felt wholly unsatisfied by my failure to achieve the
unobtainable perfection, the precision of technique, the liminality
to overcome my numerous costume malfunctions. As a woman of color
and a descendant of slaves, I was humbled and overcome by a profound
bone- deep sadness.
For
many of the bun-headed, suburbia- originated students of Jacobs
Pillow, the graying baby-boomer audiences of the Festival, and the
dance- press aficionado who attend to critique the international
works presented, the Pillow is a haven, a utopia in the midst of
increasing urban chaos. For me, it was a quiet, pastoral place,
serene and unreal, charged with the frenzied, harrowed, and desperate
energy of my ancestors. I was discomfited by the knowledge that my
ancestors had tracked up those same bumpy curvy hills on whence we
road. They were mostly on foot, often times barefoot, and tracked by
vicious killers and bounty hunters, even hunted by dogs, with visions
of horror and thoughts of lost family to accompany them. I wondered
what the Pillows bun- headed ballet protégé understood
of this, and whether they too could feel the sorrow and the anger
surrounding the site. Far too many times over the years I have
watched the children of the privileged exist untouched by the bowling
realities of history, silently buttressed by the blood spilt from
others. I could not help but to wonder how many descendants of
slaves are able to experience the Pillow and all of the culture and
history it has to offer. I can only hope that the Pillow will
continue to invite companies like Vissi Dance Theater so that we too
may share in the rich legacy of its founders and the blood history of
the land.
I
have been invigorated by this experience, a religious rebirth of
sorts it seems. I have a newfound sense of place and purpose both
within the history of dance, as well as within the history of our
country. Dancing is my passion. I have been dancing professional for
over ten years, however, I am also a practicing attorney. Dance is my
freedom, my true self, my calling, but I have always known that I
have a responsibility to use my voice in its most- largest meaningful
sense, to be more than a simple entertainer. After having taken to
heart the maxim that the personal is the political, I chose to
practice these honored professions simultaneously for maximum
personal effect. Moreover, it is rare that dance becomes a viable
means of self support where the descendants of slaves are concerned.
It is mostly the children of the privileged who have the means and
the network of support to pursue an economically viable career in
dance. Conservatories like the Pillow do not come cheap, and
choosing to honor your calling as dancer many times results in a life
of relentless poverty. With that in mind, I am also an attorney
because it pays the bills. That is, once I am done paying off the
student loans, that modern day version of buying my freedom or
sharecropping then being an attorney will pay the bills!
Vissi
Dance Theater is my artistic home because Vissi understands the need
for we dance artists to have vision, to be educated, to cross realms,
and to take our craft as seriously as death and taxes. Like Harriet
Tubman taking the runaways pon de Jacobs Ladder to freedom, we at
Vissi strive to transport ourselves and our audiences to a realm of
higher consciousness and productivity. I am sure that all of my
colleagues at Vissi will agree in feeling honored to have been part
of the 74th season at the Pillow. We only hope that when
we come a-knocking with that secret password, deys lets us bak in.
Jalila
A. Bell, Esq. is a professional dancer and practicing attorney living
in Brooklyn, New York. Jalila runs her own law practice and dance-
works for the Vissi Dance Theater in New York City. The Vissi Dance
Theater is committed to art and artists that use the gift of dance
and drama to explore moral and social issues. Through art, the
Vissi Dance Theater seeks to speak to the human condition, lift the
spirit, ask questions, celebrate the joy of life, and reflect the
truths of human nature. Jalila can be reached at
troubleesquire@yahoo.com . Vissi Dance Theater at
www.vissidancetheater.com
Photos:
Jacob's Pillow Dance Theater: Photograph by Nancy Tutko; from the archives of Jacob's Pillow, Becket, Massachusetts
Vissi Dance Company: Erin Pride, Jalila A. Bell, Chanel Mobley and Tonika Custalow in Amazing Grace. (Photo Brian Diaz)
Outside Stage at Jacob's Pillow Dance Festival
